Crazy For Feeling So Lonely!

So, sorry in advance for the tone of this blog. I can tell you right now this is getting old, yet I'm getting used to it... It's been quite an emotional ride since we've moved out to The Lair. All the little things are starting to wear on us. Ticks, dripping roof, dripping windows, lack of running water, lack of electricity, missing windows, POS parts to replace broken POS trailer parts. The only reason we keep going is because we know what this holds for us in the long term.

Maybe we haven't told you our goals yet. It's not easy to put into words why we're on this path, but when we bought the trailer I had never felt better about our decision to take the path less traveled (Thanks R. Frost). Since buying the trailer, my hopes have withered and I've doubted myself seriously. It's gotten to the point where the only thing I'm sure of in my life is my love for my family and friends and the choice I made as to who I would spend the rest of my life with. Everything else seems so uncertain.

Back on topic - why did we start this? We want freedom. We want a challenge - an adventure. In the long term, we want to be self-sustainable. We'd liked to have a home on our own decent-sized piece of land with a few dairy cows, goats, chickens, bees, and who knows what else. I often yearn for a simple life where I don't have "things" (AKA "stuff", "baggage") and remember that I have amazing love and companionship in my life. I've been so wrapped up in anger in my past that I have forgotten what it feels like to be innocent. It seems sometimes we get so tied up in the little things (i.e. details such as who ate the last cookie and who can we blame next for our pain and discomfort) that we forget to love ourselves and our friends. I am searching for the answer to true happiness. How better to find happiness than to strip yourself of all your possessions and fight for your life?

Crazy. Honestly, who WANTS to suffer? This, to me, is the ultimate test to find yourself and dig deep. We have to really push ourselves to be happy. We need to give ourselves reason to be proud and confident. I want to look back on this decision years down the road and say, "Wow - what a difference that made." Or maybe I'll say, "What a moron! That was intense and ridiculous and unnecessary!" Anyway - all joking aside - why this route? I don't know right now. It sure is something else. Hey, well at least we have something to write about, eh? Until the next CRAZY post, thanks for reading!